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There was a lot of high hopes for a kit that claimed to make fortune cookies worthy of Hello Kitty. For that, I was willing to overlook that a Japanese character was branding a cookie generally associated with Chinese food. I like to dive head first into kits like this, ignoring all inklings that the pool I've just performed a cannonball into is only filled with 3" of water.

Target is always a plethora of kits similiar to these. I could have easily gone with something that instead made scented soaps or rubber bugs, but the draw of sets that make edible goods is one that is difficult to resist. In order for me to turn up a box that makes hot pink cookies, I'd have to find a kit that allowed me to digitally decorate My Little Pony butts with my own custom designs. Most of the kits I've reviewed have been sugary food related, but thankfully I have managed to refrain from owning a pair of stretch jeans. I will never love food kits that much.

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This is one of many products from the Girl Gourmet line that includes several candy jewelry makers, cupcake frosters, and cake baking sets. Nothing groundbreaking that will replace the classic Easy Baker oven, but this set comes with the adorable branding of Sanrio.

The Hello Kitty Fortune Cookie set was placed in my cart without hesitation mainly for the fact that I'm still not sure how they make fortune cookies without burning the paper. I've never been too swift with figuring out the food mysteries of the world, including how they cram all that graham into Golden Grahams. Now that I had the HK cookie kit, all the ancient Chinese secrets would be bestowed unto me. I felt like a Fraggle who cracked the code of how to turn radishes into Doozer sticks.

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Though much like a Fraggle, I think I'd rather go eat the redily available treats then spend so much time making my own. After opening the kit, it looked like there was a lot involved in making fortune cookies -- spoons, mixes, bowls, plastic "shaping rings" and something that looked like either a pink toothbrush holder or some sort of sex toy. I already felt in over my head. I also felt a little jipped that it came with pre-written fortunes, because I had delusions of grandeur involving re-creating Filbert's "Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity," fortune from Rocko's Modern Life.

The kit came with 3 powdered mixes -- 2 yellow and 1 pink. The powder needed to be combined with the perfect amount of water to make it into proper the "fondant" texture. These aren't standard fortune cookies, they're an unusual candy fortune cookies instead. No matter, I've watched enough cake based TV programs to know that fondant is some sort of delicious candy/icing hybrid that can be used to cover giant cakes shaped like Bart Simpson and Papa Smurf. If it's good enough for Papa Smurf, it's certainly good enough for me!

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Once mixed, the yellow fondant took the consistancy of Play-Doh and with the bright neon color it looked like Play-Doh as well. However, I think Play-Doh would have done a better job of creating a fortune cookie fascimile. The fondant didn't fold very well, and my cookies were crumbly and cracked. The moisture from the mixture was seeping into the paper fortunes and discoloring them. I chalked it up to a bad first batch, but batches #2 and #3 were just as bad. I didn't even bother trying to do the yellow and pink marbled designs that were shown on the box.

This was no ancient Chinese secret. The fortune cookies were clearly a bust. I tried adding a little more water to the pink batch to make a smoother consistancy, but it felt like I was trying to reconstitute dried out Play Doh by running it under the sink for a few seconds. Still, there was at least the hope that it might wind up tasting good.

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Two adorable pink takeout boxes came with the kit in order to store the clay monstrocities, but not until after letting them dry for 5,000 hours were you suggested to eat them. After some time they seemed to take on a more dried bubble gum type of texture. When biting into the first one, I wasn't entirely sure what it was I was tasting, but by the time I tried both colors I was absolutely sure it was cotton candy flavored Play-Doh. It sounds as disgusting as it tastes. However, unlike Play-Doh I wasn't convinced that Hello Kitty Fortune Cookies were non-toxic. Even after letting it dry for 48 hours, it still felt damp.

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Besides that, they also looked like chewed up wads of gum with pieces of paper stuck inside.

If you're looking for a "Make you own fun edibles" kit, spend the extra couple dollars and splurge on a candy jewelry set. Girl Gourmet needs to stick with premade candies and leave the fortune cookies to Chinese takeout.

 

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