Sugar Free Peeps

Diabetics rejoice as for the first time ever Just Born has produced a line of Sugar Free Peeps! Each pack contains a tray of 3 chicks, as gooey and soft as their glucose-laden counterparts. The granules are smaller and softer, which means there's a slight visual difference between the sugar and Splenda Peeps.


Still damned tasty, though. They're lacking the crunchy, sandy sugar coating, and the sweetness isn't as intense as the originals. The sticky factor has increased, and the eyes seem about as indigestible as ever. What the hell are the eyes made of, anyway? Wax? Fried sugar?

Just Born definitely had their thinking caps on when they decided to sweeten with Splenda. I hear tale it's the only artificial sweetener that doesn't turn into what's pretty much formaldehyde when it's heated. Microwaving Peeps is a national pastime, and it's good to know SF Peeps can get a good nuking without getting toxins in my tummy.

Microwave Peeps

Most importantly, these newcomers need to be Christianed via microwave expansion. HALLELUJAH PRAISE BE TO PEEPS! ON THE COUNT OF THREE I'MMA GONNA CLOSE THIS DOOR AND YOUSA GONNA GROW! 1 -- 2 -- 3!! I COMMAND YOU GROW! GROW!!