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The Story of Menstruation has been nothing more than a footnote on a few Disney myth sites. To me it means a little more, as strangely enough, this 1946 film was shown to my entire female 4th grade class. Thank goodness they did it when they did, because by fifth grade it would have been too late. I was one of those poor girls that had to sneak into the bathroom and change her pad before recess. That's some real life horror for you.

I chose to review the tamest video I could find on the subject, because anything worse and you'd be doubled over in agony. Freddy Krueger eat your heart out.

THE HORROR!

I like how the female sex organs kinda look like a steer head. This is probably one of the least offensive depictions of the egg cycle I've seen. At least in black and white it seems more textbook and less grotesque. At least they're not showing bloody used pads like in certain other menstruation videos.

The video goes on to address certain myths that have arisen surrounding mensies. Apparently showering is good, which is fantastic, because I'm sure there are tons of girls walking around with blood stains down their legs all week. Thanks for clearing up that whole "cleaning" thing for us, Disney.

Despite this feature being sponsored by Kotex, there isn't even a mention or display regarding the use of pads and tampons. There's a huge product placement opportunity missed.

Cringing yet?

Disney preaches against PMS. More or less they say that you shouldn't be a whiny bitch so others won't have to deal with your drama queen crap. It's advisable to go out and enjoy exercises such as riding a bike. Call me crazy, but when my crotch is puking up blood, pushing it against a bike seat doesn't sound particularly enjoyable. The only thing I want going near it is a heat pack.

The feature goes on to advise you should pursue your activities as normal, such as giving boys the hope of getting laid, and then laughing maniacally when you turn them down.

And for the love of God, don't slouch or get constipated!

 

mystie@crowncombo.com

 
 

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