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I've been an eBayer for longer than I care to admit. Before I had a bank account, all the money I could gather went walking up to the post office for money orders and mailed out for all the junk I bought on eBay. I've bought everything off eBay from clothing, wigs, figures, toys, videos, and endless amounts of odd collectibles. Did I really need the pink Ryo-Ohki t-shirt? I still maintain that I did.

eBay is one of those few places you can sell someone a box that may or may not have anything at all in it. These "Mystery Auctions" are mainly for boring things like AVON products and crappy jewelry. The Mystery Auction category is occasionally abbreviated by cool things like grab bags for licensed characters or just weird, wild, stuff.

As I was perusing eBay one day, I spotted a Mystery Auction that perked my interest. It was for a Priority Mail box full of kids meal toys from the 80's and 90's. Sure, I could just as easily go to the flea market with a box and pick a bunch of random junk from toy bins and hand the sales person $5 for the lot. BUT, there would be no surprise involved!

After about a week the package arrived. I grabbed it up, danced with it, snuggled it, and then sliced the puppy open with my box cutter. I dumped them on the floor, because that's where toys are most happy -- scattered about the floor.

The box was certainly full of toy prizes, not all of them fantastic, and not all of them with their coordinating accessories. A few duplicates were inside, but all in all, some decent stuff.

Right away I spotted a few toys I already owned, like the Miss Piggy and Charlie Brown. Then there was some toys that I was missing in the set! Red can now join Mokey and Gobo in my Fraggle Rock set. As far as California Raisins, one is more than sufficient, I dunno why the heck I'd need four of them. There's also 2 Cruella DeVille's and a handful of ugly Cabbage Patch Kids, one with broken angel wings.

A few of the toys were broken. My Koopa Troopa is missing the air bulb to make it jump, there's a car with no Garfield driver, Gonzo is driving Miss Piggy's car, and someone seems to have put a lighter to Sister Bear's muzzle. There's also that general "unclean" feeling you have after touching some mysterious person's toys. Time to break out the Lysol.

There was a funny cardboard rocket ship in a bag that I promptly tore apart and put together. It took me a while to figure out what the pieces were and I eventually had to take the wuss route and read the instructions. It was pretty poorly constructed and wasn't remotely display-worthy.

Then there were these things. Half of a toy suitcase, instructions for some magic trick, a card with instructions on how to play War, an hour glass (probably from an old Pictionary game), and a baseball card. None of these items were in any kids meal I'd ever seen. More than likely the box I received was used to scoop from a larger box of miscellaneous toys and these bits happened to get stuck in there. And because I'm stupid, I'm keeping them with the rest of the toys.

My favorite out of the bunch is definitely the toy of Marty McFly from the often forgotten Back to the Future cartoon series. Second would be the Mac Tonight, just because Mac Tonight is so old school -- like Max Headroom. My least favorite is the figure of Jaws from the Burger King Kids Club. Kid Vid was the only cool kid in that bunch.

I still have no idea what that odd yellow plush thing is.

Maybe I should get a normal past time, like renting movies.

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