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In a world of dolls that are proud to be street trash bitches, it was really refreshing to see Cupcakes making a come-back. They might not have pimped out rides or bling-bling accessories, but girls need to be little girls. There's too many divas these days and not enough stuffed animal tea parties. Even Barbie has turned into a crack whore with My Scene dolls that are more interested in keggers than ballroom dancing. I was less offended when I heard Barbie say that math is tough than I was when she apparently started whoring herself to Ken for some ice.

You may remember Cupcakes from the late eighties early nineties era. If not, this commercial might just jog your memory. Cupcakes were little leg-less dolls with skirts that when flipped inside out would take the form of a cupcake. Like Cherry Merry Muffin they each had their own flavor and smell. Each one had the cutest little cupcake-top bonnet you've ever seen. They didn't have a lot of playsets -- a dessert shop here and a cottage there -- but they did make their presence known on lunchboxes and puzzles.

The new breed of Cupcakes may seem a little different to you and there's a good reason for that. Originally Cupcakes were produced by Tonka and now are under Radica, the brand responsible for products such as Electronic Blackjack. Radica hasn't done much with promotions other than 1 commercial that I've personally never seen aside from the download available at their web site.

Style wise, the new Cupcakes are exceedingly similar to the originals. There is, however, one thing these new Cupcakes bring us that the others never dreamed of -- a DVD. It sealed the deal on my purchasing one of the new dolls. Wal-Mart seemed to have a large overstock of them, and the associate there actually thanked me for getting rid of one of them. I examined the new dolls carefully, trying to determine which one was the leader. In dolls like this there's always a primary girl much like Barbie or the Red Ranger. Cotton Candy appeared the most pink and blonde and I made my decision that she is the leader of the pack.

The box was terrible to open and I wound up ripping most of it apart. The doll had one of those plastic bands stitched through her hair attaching her to a piece of cardboard. There's nothing worse than getting a new doll and already having to comb through a mound of nappy, tangled hair.

The doll isn't overwhelmingly fragrant, but as I placed my nose to her hair I can definitively say she does indeed smell like Cotton Candy. Upon first transformation into a cupcake the hat kept sliding off. After I turned her into a cupcake and back a crack had formed in her dress that now grows each time I flip it inside-out. I don't recall having such trouble with the Tonka ones, and they were built... dare I say it.... Tonka Tough!

As I put the DVD in I was expecting a good 10 minutes of promotional advertisements for other toys to start playing, but there were none. It lead directly into a 6-minute tale of a girl named Sandra. Sandra was new in town and was distressed at her inability to make friends. She thrust herself into the local sweet shop to eat away her troubles. Instead, some magic granny introduced her to the Cupcakes and shrunk her down to cupcake size to teach her a lesson. A lesson that could only be taught....

... IN SONG! Yes, the computer generated Cupcakes began singing and dancing about how everyone is beautiful on the inside. I assure you, it's as hilarious as it sounds. I was rolling around and holding my sides in laughter. Then they proceeded to cover her in make-up. This would have been a thousand times funnier if the girl had bitten into one of the Cupcakes and proclaimed, "Hey! Where's the cream filling?!"

The DVD leads one to believe Minty Mindy is the ringleader, but I can't imagine this being true. Never in doll history has a doll with a sea green dress that smells of Mint ruled the henhouse. I refuse to believe Mint could outsell Cotton Candy. You give a girl a choice between a bag of mints and a bag of cotton candy, they'll choose the cotton candy every time -- hands down. It's simple kidenomics.

Short story even shorter, the girl got some confidence and went jump-roping with the local girls. The sad part is, 1 of the 3 singing Gingerbread men was injured on set. The even sadder part is, I would have continued watching this DVD for another hour.

 

 

mystie@crowncombo.com


 

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