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The logo I made that has much suckatude

It's no secret that I love dollar stores. I would never want to be in the situation that I would need to do my grocery shopping at one, but it's always nice to know the $1 Kid Cuisine is in their back freezer should I need it. On one particular trip to the Dollar Tree it seemed there were more toys and novelties in stock than I've ever seen before. Everything from puzzles to Pirate action figures to handheld electronic games. I wandered into the section filled with dolls and had to part the sea of little girls to get some goodies for myself.

Pictures of some crap I bought at the Dollar Tree because I'm stoopid

These seemed like the best bang for my buck, especially since I only had a few bucks to bang. One kit for "Do-It-Yourself" body glitter, and the other for nail polish. The nail polish didn't come with anything to do the little skull-and-crossbones airbrush I like to get at the salon, but it did come with glitter. Glitter is the cheapest way to bling anything.

Stuff from things

I ripped open both packs and set up my workshop. I had 2 sticks, 2 packs of glitter, 2 cups, 2 green dyes, 2 red dyes, 2 nail polish containers, nail goop, body goop, and a heart shaped keepsake for storing body goop. The dyes were supposed to be scented, and as I opened them to take a whiff I noticed a very distinct scent I can't quite put my finger on, it smelled like -- oh yeah --water.

Body instructions for bettering your life oh boy horray

Yeah, yeah, yeah, instructions. They're easy enough. Mix crap together. I set out making a large cup full of pink body glitter, unsure of what the proper goop:dye:glitter ratio was. I just mixed until it looked pretty good. Pretty darn good. Pretty darn tasty-looking good.

Mmmm... pink is my favorite drink.

Curse step 4! I had already prepared myself to coat my stomach in pink glittery smooze and see if I would expel pink glitter poop. I'll have to think of another way to make my crap look like cotton candy. In the meantime, I have a lot of leftover pink body glitter that doesn't all fit into the tiny locket. I'll have to make the best of it.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty!

I'm feeling prettier already. Even with the slime all over my nose, it still doesn't smell like anything. I enjoy being colorful, but I don't know if pink is quite my color. Is pink a spring or a winter color?

nail polish instructions

The first thing I want to say is that these instructions suck. I know this isn't rocket science, it's just mixing colored snot together, but they didn't mention one very important thing. The bottle with the Nail Polish base has an inner cap that you need to remove before you can squeeze the stuff out. When I opened the bottle I I assumed the front was merely clogged, and began squeezing it with the might of a million ponies.

Ewe, it looks like someone jizzed on my table.

The cap shot off like a rocket. I managed to get some nail base into the cup, but most of it squirted all over my body like a bad bukkake film. It was then I felt the texture of this so called "nail polish base." As I rubbed it on my fingers and then peeled it off I realized it was nothing more than common white glue. Little girls can't be trusted with enamel these days, so they'll have to paint their nails with colored glue.

I mixed a batch of pink nail glue and decorated my nails. The concoction was thin and sort of runny. It looked exactly like glittery Pepto Bismol. I'd of been better off coloring my nails with a Sharpie. My nails didn't have any scent on them as the package indicated. It also indicated not to eat the stuff, but it wasn't on the instructions like the body glitter. I couldn't bring myself to eat the slop, though. Shit that makes me look this god damn sexy should be used sparingly.

Goonies shirt

The necklace was the best part of the whole deal, as it perfectly matched my outfit. You never know when you're going to need that extra boost of sparkle power, so keeping body glitter in a heart-shaped locket is practically an essential for the diva on the go.

Overall I give the Girlz DIY sets 1 out of 5 sticks of cotton candy. They sucked, but at least I only spent $2.

1 out of 5 cotton candy

 

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