Shamrock Shakes are back again this year. Valentine's Day is still upon us but the merchants of gluttony at McDonald's have already brought their famous St Patrick's treat to their customers. I look forward to the shakes every year with growing anticipation. By mid-summer I typically break down and transform the kitchen into a laboratory, experimenting in various ice cream/milk/mint/food coloring combinations.
I was busy at work with the radio playing as I took sudden notice to the advertisements being played. Everything sounded like beeps and scratches until I heard the two magical words "Shamrock Shake" followed by the current McDonald's jingle. I stood, mouth agape, caught so off guard I can only compare my awe to having my pants suddenly drop to my ankles. When my shift ended I didn't dare go home. I headed 17 miles to the nearest McDonald's. I saw no signs indicating the arrival of the season treat, and ventured inside to dispense my query.
I entered in the establishment at peak dinner hour, but with the luck of the Irish on my side, I was next in line. I peeked up at the board, and there it was, gleaming green. I couldn't suppress my widened smile and tried my best to stifle the giggles burbling up from within me. I ordered my minty trophy, and ordered the largest one I could manage.
I wanted to take it home, fully preserved for documentation. I did, however, sneak two delicious sips. The Shamrock Shake is my favorite thing about St. Patrick's day. Even more so than cheap green beer! After the tradition being dead for many years, I must savor every bit of Shamrock Shake, making sweet sweet love to it with my tongue.
The Shamrock Shake once had its own McDonaldland spokesperson in the form of Grimace's Irish uncle. Uncle O'Grimacey has been all but lost for many years. Then one day as I was going through a tape I had obtained through trading on the internet, I found the solid proof of his existence. The commercial aired in 1979, 4 years before I was born. It spoke to me, telling me the tale of Shamrock Shakes through Ronald and two anthropomorphic blob pals. Wily Uncle O'Grimacey was painting all of McDonaldland green in celebration of the return of Shamrock Shakes.
The future of the Shamrock Shake is unclear. With items like the McRib disappearing forever, who's to say Uncle O'Grimacey's lactose laden luxury won't be next? Perhaps McDonald's will opt for a healthier option and have a Shamrock Salad instead. But as long as we keep the Shamrock Shake in our hearts, I'm sure it will make at least a few more rounds of Triple Thick frozen sludgey goodness. For now, I will go paint the town green in celebration.