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Stella: Hey ya'll! Stella here with my hot new talk show, Toy Talk! Here we're gonna interview some of the hottest toys on the shiz-elf! HOLLA! Let's give it up for our first guest -- Boulder, defender of the Rocklords!

Toy talk

Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Boulder: Thank you, thank you.

Stella: Have a seat. Now Boulder, you've been defending the Rocklords for centuries, is this correct?

Boulder: Yes, you could, in fact, say I've rocked the world!

Stella: I could, but I won't. Now, someone brought you here today to confess a secret to you. Do you recognize this voice?

Mystery Voice: My love for you is hot like MASSIVE VOLCANIC ERUPTIONS OF LAVA!!

Toy Talk

Boulder: Oh holy shit. Magma? Magma what the fuck is going on?

Stella: You're right, baby! Please give a warm welcome to Maaaaaaaagma!

Toy Talk

Boulder: Oh shit. Oh shit, not on fucking TV. Holy shit.

Magma: You've been hiding this forever. I can't take the lies anymore. Boulder has been pounding me like a jack hammer for years!

Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Stella: But that's not the only secret you've been keeping, now is it?

Toy Talk

Magma: No. It isn't. I've been cheating on you.

Boulder: WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Stella: Oh no you didn't! Bring out Pumice!

Toy Talk

Boulder: A rock?! You've been cheating on me with a fucking chunk of rock?

Magma: Well she doesn't hide her true feeling about me like you do! I'm tired of playing this love/hate game! I need you to hold me, to cuddle me and tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Toy Talk

Boulder: YOU CHEAP FUCKING TAWDRY WHORE! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY MAN!! YOU SKANK ASS BITCH!!

Magma: Back off! Stop it! STOP IT!

Stella: SECURITY!!

Toy Talk

Security: Woah, woah, now break it up!

Toy Talk

Boulder: Oh Magma, I'm so sorry.

Stella: Are you gonna take this two-timer back?

Magma: I'm sorry, too, my sweet rock candy.

Boulder: I promise, I won't hide our love anymore. I need your flaming igneous eruptions to fill my deep rocky caverns.

Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Toy Talk

Stella: Alright! Stella saves the day for these two rock-hard flamers! The lesson here is, you don't need to be ashamed of your partner. After all, you could be fucking the holes in a chunk of pumice. Tune in next week!

COMMENT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!

 

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