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Inside Out Boy

Inside-Out Boy - He's got what every hero needs -- guts. One day this kid accidentally swung over the bar and turned himself inside-out. I once tried the same thing as a kid, except I turned into Concussion Girl. Instead of having the power of grossing out adults I had the power to make them bandage up my skinned knees. I was picking wood chip splinters out of my skin for weeks.

Lots of people complain about how episodes of this are so rare and hard to find. Here's a tip for you. Really old tapes of Rugrats had 2 IOB episodes on each video. You can buy them on half.com for less than a $1.

Cows

Once upon a time a cow went up and up a hill. Then they did the cow dance! Cows was a magnificent Nickelodeon short made by a genius child named Nicole Stiokas. The best part of this short is that it has cows. The worst part is, it ended. Also there were no jokes about brown cows making chocolate milk or cows jumping over the moon. This cartoon could have gone on for hours solely on cow puns.

 

Bananaman

Before bananas were in pajamas, bananas were turning little Eric into BANANAMAN! Another one of Nickelodeon's brilliant little imported gems. Filled with scatterbrained crime solving and puns galore, Bananaman aired right after Danger Mouse. But Danger Mouse didn't have a tidy yellow cape or fresh banana breath, now did he? Though DM did have that sexy little eye patch.

 

Cat Came Back

As a kid I always found the Cat Came Back to be a bit wanton. First you have this creamsicle colored beast that unmistakably emerged from Hades. Then you have this hobo-ish man freshly released from the local penitentiary. What does he do? Goes awol all over the cat. Part of me can't blame him -- that cat is a comprised of 99% highly concentrated mischief. Instead of taking the cat to the humane society he gives the feline an old-fashioned pair of cement shoes. The ending doesn't do much to save the morbidity of this piece. The man floats up to heaven in a dress made of wooly mammoth fur and 9 cat-clones pursue him beyond the pearly gates.

 

Fast Food

The great thing about Fast Food, is it really has nothing to do with fast food. Three chefs are making green delicacies with all natural green coloring. The green coloring of choice? Frog. This frog wasn't as adorable as Kermit, so I didn't feel particularly sad about his upcoming debut of becoming green poo. Don't act like your shit doesn't turn green when you eat green food. Everyone who takes a Shamrock Shake in, takes a Shamrock Shake out.

 

Dog. Dog snores. Dog farts. Dog dreams. Dog dreams of dog. Somehow Dog Brain was still funny after the 50th time of watching it. The anticipation of waiting for that dog to fart made one quiver awkwardly. You know all those cute pound puppies that need to be adopted? This is what happens after you take one home. He doesn't wear cute little hats and sweaters, running about having adventures. He lays on your carpet all day farting rising only to eat out of the garbage and drink from the toilet.

 

Now this photo of Grace looks like one of those creepy old fashioned shots on Unsolved Mysteries. They might go on about how she was of royal heritage and was hung and quartered, then pan slowly into her eyes as if her soul will reach through the TV for you. Luckily this Grace girl is just a weird old photo that will be altered in a hilarious fashion. You see, Grace is very unhappy about the way she looks. She wants to get pimped out big time. Soon she images herself as Miss American Whore, dressed as the finest Tammy Fay impersonator this side of the Mississippi.

 

Sports Cartoons

Nothing is funnier than the ongoing battle between cats and hippos. Throw some pigs and dogs in the mix and you've got a cartoon that slays audiences without fancy effects like "dialogue". These Sports Cartoons played for so long it felt like they'd never go away. Then one day I turned around and they were just gone. Luckily, all of them are chronicled on 1 VHS tape. Or for you torrent users, you can download it over at MySpleen.

There you have it. A short article for shorts. Shortie shortie short shorts.

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