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Dollies and pirates. I'm certainly excited. I can safely say I am the internet's #1 Hugga Bunch go-to gal. I lived half my childhood in Hugga Bunch outfits and Hugga Bunch pajamas. I had the dolls and watched the movie and even though my mother disposed of my Hugga Bunch lunchbox, I bought myself a new one. I never owned the comic book, though. Not until I grew up and discovered eBay, anyway.

Hugga Bunch Comic Cover

The first of 6 comics about Hugga Bunch. I can't imagine why these didn't do better, after all, schoolgirls are a cornerstone to the comic book market. Pooping dollies, kitchen play sets, ponies, and comic books are every little girls' essentials. Okay, so maybe not. But there's always gotta be a few rebels like me that think Hugga Bunch comics are fantastic, and that Strawberry Shortcake for the Atari 2600 was the most amazing game ever made.

The story starts out like a lot of super fluffy girl stories do. There's danger on Earth because some kid has angst and said kid is whisked away to a magical land. Huggins is bouncing around like the little pink cotton candy-topped marshmallow ass she is. Homer is running about like a jackass, picking up gold coins that have been left in a convenient trail leading out of Huggaland. UH-OH! Now Homer is confronted by Captain Snake, kidnapped, and made to swab the poop deck.

Of course this is the Hugga Bunch which means they're leaving out the parts where little Homer gets anally violated and replacing them with scenes of bubble blowing parties. What a bunch of pansy pirates. You've got a sword, just slit their damn throats. Don't let them use cuteness as a defense mechanism! Yarg! This sea dog be yellower than that scurvy nave Sunshine Bear! Make the land lubbers walk the plank!

We come to find out that the pirates are keeping a princess captive as well. Homer becomes the hero and saves his lady....

... but not before a rendezvous with a giant huggy squid and some sort of plush hippy whale. Oh-ho-ho! The pirates have landed into a WHALE of trouble!

Don't buy this comic. I could have just posted the cover and last image and you'd get the same amount of plot out of it. If you're a guy and you had this comic, there's something seriously fucked up about your childhood. One redeeming quality is the Madball ad on the back. At least if you were caught with this you could flip it face-down on your Trapper Keeper and pretend like you had a more palatable taste in comics.

Madballs!

Geez, what is it with guys wanting to play with gross balls? I mean, I never wanted to play with squishy jewel-encrusted clam dolls. Maybe I'm just a wacko. At least the princess likes me.

mystie@crowncombo.com

 

 

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