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Imagine this: Christmas Eve. You're up early, awaken by fire truck after fire truck from all stretches of the county fleeing to Main Street while the old tannery burns to the ground. You're looking for Christmas Specials on TV, but there are none. You're just about to post in your blog when all the sudden - your internet connection DIES!!!

That's what happened to me this Christmas Eve. I'm taking this as a sign that I should settle myself in front of the TV and try to push one last time, giving birth to my final Christmas Special review of 2005. Now there's an ample number of festive features. Jim Henson Studios alone had a hand in over 5 of them. The Simpsons have a new one each year. But well-known spots just aren't the Mystie's Place style. I like to cater to the underdog. The well loved but long forgotten. Lost legends of pop culture history.

Christmas at Pooh Corner

Yes, there is a lesser known holiday tale at the Hundred Acre Woods and this one has people in giant Pooh suits! It was a special holiday episode of the Disney Channel's Welcome to Pooh Corner that aired in the 1980s. They had all the Pooh characters, minus Christopher Robin. Why no Christopher? Because humans can't be anthro. There was the storyteller, played by Mr. Laurie Main, who relayed the tale of Christmas at Pooh Corner. Now I hand the story back down to you.

Laurie Main

Winnie the Pooh has waited all year long for Christmas. Now usually bears hibernate in the winter, but not bears made of fluff and stuff. The clock finally chimes to bring in the beginning of the holiday season. Pooh makes his rounds to his friends' houses to wish them Merry Christmas. Owl replies with a, "Seasons Greetings," which Pooh somehow mishears and proceeds to prance around wishing everyone a, "Sheshons Greetings."

Gloomy old Eeyore

Even with Christmas coming, Eeyore is still gloomy. That ass needs some Prozac or Pilates or some shit. Stop sitting around all day like some damn emo kid.

Damn Emo Eeyore

Anyway, Eeyore's all pissy because his friends are all doing special things for him for Christmas and he can't do anything for them in return. He tries making popcorn balls, making cards, singing Christmas carols, and he fails at all of it. Poor Eeyore. At least he got to dance merrily about while they decorated the tree.

Frolicking around the tree

This brings us up to Christmas Eve Eve. Everyone goes home and snuggles up in their cozy houses with their warm beds. Eeyore goes back to his dreary shanty. Upon awaking on Christmas Eve, half of the Hundred Acre Woods is covered in snow. Pooh, Piglet, and Rabbit are all stuck inside. Owl flies over to check on Eeyore, who was lucky enough to not get hit by the storm.

Gloomy old Eeyore and Wise Old Owl

Meanwhile, back at Roo's place, Roo is anxiously awaiting the arrival of his friends. Tigger tries to cheer him up, but with the snow piled up so high, Roo begins to wonder if even Santa will be able to make it through. What about Roo's dad? We've no idea about him. I've always just assumed that Kanga was the victim of a hit-n-run type deal and that the bastard doesn't even pay child support. Poor Roo.

Eeyore the Christmas Ass

Finally Eeyore figures out that he can give his friends for Christmas -- a sleigh ride to Roo's house. Owl leads the way while Eeyore pulls the sleigh. Roo will finally have the best Christmas ever. But not without one final glimpse of another sleigh.

OMG THERE GOES SANTA!!!!
Jing-a-ling-a-ling!

Thus ends the tale of how Eeyore kinda saved Christmas at Pooh Corner. For his bravery, I will let Eeyore convey the final message of the article....

Sheshon's Greetings!

 

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