Case of the Fake People
Now we all know Dollar Stores are a treasure trove for cheap generic goodies. Some of them are delicious fake Pop-Tarts and some of them are fun sparkly stickers. But every now and then when your at a discount store you find things that are so otherworldly bizarre you can't pass up forking out the change for them. And some of them, like Christmas Crunch in July, should be avoided at all costs.
Here I present the Quick Change robot. A cheaply built rip-off of Gundam. Some toy makers just have no shame. This little guy changes into a a wasp or some such shit. He doesn't even launch anything or have fun decals to put on. What he does have is the amazing ability to break at the slightest touch.
I bought these cookies from the Dollar Tree on a whim. Their little smiles reminded me of those old Giggles cookies that I loved so dearly. Yet I could not bear to choke down even one of these monstrosities. First off, they look like their faces are bleeding. Secondly my taste buds began running and screaming into my throat and I nearly choked to death. Imagine, if you will, eating a sandwich of stale clubhouse crackers and week-old dried Jell-o. That's what this cookie tastes like. Plus it has some strange code on the back of the cookie I have yet to decipher. If anyone can tell me what the hell Lider S-2000 means, please mail me at email@example.com and put my curiosity to bed.