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Transformers Constructicons:
Heino
us in Disguise

1/08/05

By Mystie

 

Transformers - Hasbro's long time favorite toy of young lads across the world. They're big, they're bad ass, and if a giant robot isn't cool enough, they'll transform into a turbo-speed alien-blasting jet. Can you smell the testosterone? Go on. Take a whiff.

But here we have one odd example of the transformers. The Constucticons. Instead of being robots that will also catapult missiles to the moon or harpoon underwater battle stations these are the Transformers that will help build your house. They'll bulldoze your favorite forest spot to make a parking lot. And they'll make obscene cat-calls when they see ladies going by. Why? Because they're EVIL.

In an era where children were awed by sticky spiders that could be tossed against the wall (leaving mother with sticky prints to clean all the way) who would notice that these Decepticons were, in fact, quite bogus?

So I bring up an idea that was brought public with the hit movie Big... why not Transformers for girls? Hell, apparently they can make ones haul around dirt. So why no cute little kitties, bunnies, and faeries that transform into giant pastel pink princess robots with magic wands and tiaras that shoot love-beams and stuff? Why did we have to share our Popples and Care Bears with the boys, but we couldn't play with the Transformers? The closest we ever got to this was Purr-tenders. The plush cats that would pretend to be other cute animals. I personally never had one. But I had one of the little ones they sold at BK. I later on dug it up to store my GBA in it's soft underbelly. But we can't exactly say this makes Hasbro "sexist." After all, they did bring us the ever popular Get In Shape Girl sets.

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mystie@crowncombo.com

 

 

 

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