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You, too can love being a turtle!

9/13/03 - Michelangelo's Electronic Nunchucks


Thank you 80's revival for being so good to me. As I was stocking up on the latest 80's movie DVD releases and newfound Care Bears accessories, I took a waltz by the toy department at my local Wal-Mart and BEHOLD! I giant display of new goodies from the fresh TMNT cartoon. Totally bodacious. Small turtles, large turtles, shell cels, vehicles and more goodies than you can shake a bo staff at. But the thing that caught my eye was the electronic weapons that looked more like a dress up kit to me. And being as it would have seemed a little strange if I had dressed up as a ninja turtle while I was a wee lass, it was much more appropriate now that I was grown.

So I grabbed the Michelangelo's Nunchuck's set and carried them triumphantly to the register. For a mere $15 I would soon find out what was so great about being a turtle. Upon further inspection, I noticed some slight slashing on the box. Perhaps Shredder was trying to find this one out as well. I doubt he got very far, because the back was covered in impenetrable twisty ties and tape.

I needed some turtle garb to set the mood for the look. I grabbed the only green shirt I owned, and it was quite oversized. I simply put my belt around it and put on some fishnet stockings to give myself a more scaly feeling on my legs. So I commenced with the opening, throwing bits and pieces about my Care Bears throw blanket. Soon I was throwing curses, because the inner instructions read "batteries not included" and not clearly marked on the outer shell. I had to dig up some AA batteries, which meant ripping them out of another toy. Sorry Luna Sphere. Your annoying mews were more than I could tolerate. Your death shall not be in vein. For once you have done something to benefit all of mankind.

Which brings us to the contents. It included :

·1 motion activated wrist unit that makes swishy noises
·2 nunchucks sporting peeling ninja turtles logo decals that I doubt Mickey's chucks held
·1 orange mask (and being such a big Darkwing Duck fan, amused me greatly)

Upon fitting the mask around my face I immediately felt the turtle power overwhelm me. I needed to scarf down pizza, kick some serious shell, and I had this terrible fear of being turned into soup. But most of all I could feel one thing burning inside me. One thing that I could not resist and burbled in my soul.....







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